


A Matter of Personal Feeling

by GaHoolianGirl



Series: A Warden and his Assassin [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: (It's between Fergus - Cousland not Cous and Zev), Advice, Arguing, Arranged Marriage, Brother Feels, Gen, It's resolved within the span of the fic no worries, M/M, Mentions of character deaths in the Cousland Origin, Well attempted arranged marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-09-28
Packaged: 2018-08-18 09:46:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8157787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: “You don't have to leave him! Most nobleman have mistresses or concubines.”

  “Concubine!?” Gideon slammed his fists onto the table, rattling all its contents and his brother, “Never call him that. That is the last thing he is to me!”

  Fergus just...didn’t have the energy to remarry. Howe had run Highever into the ground, and he planned to make good on his promise to his brother to examine the treatment of elves. Planning a wedding would be a waste of resources and time!

  ...though that excuse fell apart when he thought about how hard he was trying to force his brother into it.

  Sequel to Home Is Where The Heart Is (Or Where Your Adorable Antivan Elf Is).





	

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a direct sequel to _[Home Is Where The Heart Is (Or Where Your Adorable Antivan Elf Is)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6788791)_. It takes place a few days afterwards.

“Fergus!” Gideon spat his brother’s name like it was poison, “I can’t, no, I wont!”

“Brother-”

“After everything... I can’t just...”

Fergus’ face, usually so soft and personable, tightened into a grimace, “You have a duty! What you did for Ferelden was great and we are all grateful, but as a Cousland heir-”

“So are you!”

“Listen to me!”

“You like him!”

“It’s not a matter of my personal feelings on him!”

“Well it is a matter of _mine_ , and I love him, brother, and I wont leave him!”

“You don't have to leave him! Most nobleman have mistresses or concubines.”

“ _Concubine!?_ ” Gideon slammed his fists onto the table, rattling all its contents and his brother, “ ** _Never call him that._ ** That is the **_last_ ** thing he is to me!”

Fergus grit his teeth. Even as the younger sibling, Gideon was always an imposing figure, and the scars he picked up during the Blight only compounded that. The nasty glare he was sending Fergus’ way also heaped onto the intimidation. But he was firm, “You’re not a boy anymore.”

“No, I’m not,” he hissed, “I’m a man who can make his own damn decisions.”

“Gideon!”

“I’m not getting married, Fergus! At least not to anyone who isn’t Zevran!”

“Why are you being so stubborn!? You never shirked your duty when Father and Mother were alive!”

“How dare you use them to prove a point, Fergus,” he growled, “And besides,” he balled his hands into fists, “What makes you think I can produce a child? The chance of a Grey Warden reproducing are next to none!”

Fergus’ eyes widened, then narrowed with his resolve, “There are other reasons to get married. Political connections, treaties...”

“If that’s all it requires, then why don’t you get remarried?”

That was a low blow and they both knew, with Oren’s and Oriana’s corpses only a year cold. But it did let Fergus know how vehemently Gideon was against this, and was his recompense for Fergus’ mention of their parents.

“...You know, you’re right. But right now, I’m not your brother. I am your teyrn.”

Fergus had never pulled his rank as the first son against his brother before.

“And right now I’m not your younger brother. I’m a Grey Warden, and my duty to them trumps that to my country.”

The tension in the air was pulled as taut as an and overstrung bowstring, and felt as ready to snap. Both siblings glared into each other’s eyes, never feeling such animosity between them before.

“Then get out. I’ll see you at dinner, Ser Warden.”

“Your lordship.”

Gideon turned with a flourish, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

 “Zevran?” Gideon said as soon as he knew he was out of Fergus’ earshot, “You really need to fix that nasty eavesdropping habit of yours.”

“Apologizes, my Warden, but it was not my place to intrude,” Zevran stepped out from the shadows, immediately entering Gideon’s waiting embrace.

“I’m sorry for arguing over you without you there.”

“Do not dwell on it. As I said, it was a family matter, something which I have no place to speak on.”

“I just...”

Zevran bit his lip as he did whenever he was about to ask a question about _feelings_ , “May I ask you something?”

Gideon smiled, “Always.”

“Why...do you not just do it?”

That surprised Gideon, who was used to Zevran preferring they make certain decisions together.

“Ah, shall we retire to your room before supper?”

Gideon followed him wordlessly, still in a state of shock over Zevran’s inquiry. They stepped into his room and shut the door.

“Gideon?”

“Zevran...why would you think I’d say yes to that!?” Anyone else would have pegged that as anger, but Zevran recognized his tone as _hurt_.

Zevran’s face was all innocence and consideration, “Duty has always been something that was tantamount to you. Marriage is a duty of a noble son.”

“Not all noble sons fall in love,” _with Antivan ex-assassin elves,_ was his unspoken addition.

“But it is as your brother says. Many nobles have lovers aside from their spouse. What will change if you are one of many?”

Gideon grabbed Zevran’s arm, causing the elf to look up onto his eyes, “Zevran, you know you are an elf, yes? A foreign elf? A male foreign elf?”

“...yes to all?”

“If I kept you as a lover, people would say you’re...” he grit his teeth, “you’re my pet! I want the world to know I love you! I’m not using you because I can’t sleep with my wife!”

“Gideon?” Zevran felt a warmth in his cheek grow where there had been none.

The earnestness in Gideon’s voice was undeniable.“You’re not some piece on the side for me, Zevran. I love you, and we’re partners. I wont let them say that about you.”

“And if,” Zevran raised an eyebrow, “I said I didn’t mind what they say about me? There is nothing they could say that has not been said behind my back already.”

“Consider it selfishness on my part then, but you’re far too important to me to just willingly facilitate more nasty comments against you. The Grey Wardens and my family are important responsibilities to me, but you matter just as much”

“And I’m sure your brother understands that,” Zevran smirked at him, and it dawned on Gideon that Zevran had been leading the conversation exactly where he wanted.

“Ah, you’re probably right,” Gideon scratched the back of his neck, “He’s probably looking for a way out of remarrying. I understand his pain, I really, really do, but the family needs an heir, and I can’t provide it. I don’t think a fruitless political marriage is what we need regardless. After the Blight, no one is scrambling to get on our bad side, and as a Grey Warden I can’t have some wife waiting for me to come home and I...never do.”

“Then perhaps you should tell him that? From your many tales I have learned your brother is a man of no mean understanding.”

“Right as always. Fergus probably needs some time alone with his thoughts before I can go about apologizing, though,” he pouted, “But I’m not changing my mind!”

“You are not being asked to. Just to explain.”

“Well aren’t you so reasonable this evening?” Gideon’s lips fell into a playful smile.

“We all have our moments, my dear,” Zevran’s expression matched his lover’s, “If you are so worried about my opinions, I have one for you right now.”

Gideon took the bait with relish, “And what would that be?”

“We are not close enough to each other.”

Gideon rectified that without another word.

* * *

 The moment the door shut behind him, Fergus flopped down into his chair, praying to the Maker and their parents that some resolution be reached before he never saw his brother again. He could understand his brother’s willfulness on this point. He had been the same way with Oriana, but his parents hadn’t objected to that.

Fergus just...didn’t have the energy to remarry. Howe had run Highever into the ground, and he planned to make good on his promise to his brother to examine the treatment of elves. Planning a wedding would be a waste of resources and time!

...though that excuse fell apart when he thought about how hard he was trying to force his brother into it. Deep in his heart, Fergus knew the real reason. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see her sweet face and his son’s innocent expression, and he felt the deep, biting pain of when he was told they had died. To hold another woman in his arms would feel like the most dishonorable disrespect he could do to his late wife.

She was always the one pestering him to focus on his duties, and yet he couldn't do this one simple act. He told his brother most nobles didn’t marry for love, it was just a duty, an act.

But why couldn’t he listen to his own damn words!?

If he had another son, would he just feel like a replacement for Oren? Would the woman just be substitute for Oriana?

...no, they’d be completely different people, people he’d feel differently about no matter how he came to meet them.

He sat up in his chair, taking up a quill and paper.

* * *

Fergus arrived at the supper table after his brother, silently taking his seat at the head of the table. Usually, supper was held between the family, knights and whoever else of station, but as the younger son had just returned they were kept family affairs at present.

He pushed his chair in, “Brother.”

“Fergus.”

He leaned his cheek on his palm, “So the eldest daughter of a nearby Bann will be staying at the castle in a month’s time.”

Gideon tensed, “I see.”

Fergus sipped his wine, “I’m assuming you wont be here?”

“You assumed correctly,” a hand grabbed Gideon’s under the table, and he swallowed thickly.

“Good,” he took another swig, “More time for us to be alone.”

The grin on his younger brother’s face (and the look of gratitude on Zevran’s) didn’t completely ease the burden on his heart, but it was most definitely a start.•

**Author's Note:**

> Fergus was definitely the hardest part to write, because he gets so little time to establish character in game...I tried my best


End file.
